Trusting Her Rancher Boss (Mountainbrook Ranch Book 1) Page 12

  She knew love. She’d lived with her idyllic parents and their happy marriage and it was there between the Westons, but it was fragile, threatening to be lost. And she was painfully aware it wouldn’t happen with her and Jared. The more he revealed about himself, the more she felt pieces of her heart being devoted to him. It was no longer about her naïve curiosity, but driven by a selfless desire to see Jared happy.

  Loving him was no longer a question anymore.

  She forced a smile, unwilling to let her pain show. “Your father will be okay. Whatever you decide, I know he’ll be happy for you.”

  Chapter Nine

  Rachel felt Jared’s leg brush against hers while they sat next to each other at the dining table, and each time that happened, she lost track of what they were discussing. Ranch duties, possibly.

  Jared removed his Stetson, exposing untamed dark brown hair. The hint of stubble across his broad face heightened his attractiveness and he absentmindedly ran a hand across his jaw, looking effortlessly confident. Seated next to Warren, Jared was the one who looked like a model.

  Her phone rang loudly. Spooning the last of the peach cobbler into her mouth, she excused herself and stepped into the hall. It was Hannah, her potential employer. She answered without hesitation.

  “Hi, Rachel. Uh, listen, we’ve made a few changes. The position won’t be open until late January. Our current photographer’s circumstances have changed and she won’t be leaving until then.”

  She chewed her lip nervously. “That’s fine. I can wait.”

  “Great. I’ve already looked over your blog and I’m eager to see your official portfolio, but the final interview will have to be put on hold. I’ll call you closer to the time. So sorry to disappoint you.”

  Yet she hadn’t completely lost the opportunity. Her heart raced. This was it. She was so close to attaining her intended career.

  “Thank you, and no need to apologize.”

  “Everything’s just been a mess over here lately as we extend the office. I hope this isn’t too much of an inconvenience. Linda mentioned you were working at Mountainbrook.”

  She hesitated, hoping it wouldn’t taint her impression. “Yes, until the end of the week.”

  “I hear it’ll be open to guests early October.” She broke off, and the sound of a clicking keyboard filled the silence. “We plan on doing a write-up of Mountainbrook and photos of the ranch would be perfect. Seeing as you’re the only photographer they’ve given access to, we’ll hire you on the spot if that can be arranged.”

  Her eyes widened. Mountainbrook hadn’t just opened a door for her, it’d smashed it down. Of course Jared would wholeheartedly support her, he’d done so this far. “I can get it done, no problem.”

  “Excellent! I’m sure you’ll love it here in Spokane. I can’t wait to meet you.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  “All the best, Rachel. Talk to you in a few weeks.”

  With the call over, she held the phone against her chest, overcome with contentment. The job wasn’t hers until later than expected, but now that she was guaranteed the position, she could accept further work at Mountainbrook. Not only would she be providing photos to the Westons, but this would give them a major marketing boost. She had no doubt Mountainbrook would be popular and all of Jared’s hard work would pay off.

  She had what she wanted, what she’d worked and risked trespassing for. It was a breakthrough moment. Yet her happiness didn’t feel enduring.

  Returning to the living room, she pocketed her phone. The other ranchers sidled to the stables and Jared lagged behind, sending his intense gaze her way.

  “Important call? Must’ve been good news. You’re smiling.”

  She nodded. “Yep. The interview’s been delayed, but they’re doing an article on Mountainbrook and as long as I provide some promotional photos, I’ve got the job.”

  “Good. Go for it. Use any photos you need.”

  Noticing the wistfulness in his voice, she hesitated. “You’re genuinely encouraging me.”

  “People should follow what they love. I know I need to. You should take more photos of the ranch for today.”

  Rejection permeated her. “I can accompany you.”

  “Don’t worry. I want you to stay, enjoy your afternoon. Can do some riding another time.”

  He tipped his hat before leaving, letting the door close on his back. She stared after him, wondering if his behavior had been because of their growing attraction. Had getting intimate with Jared been a mistake, perhaps drawn the scrutiny of the other ranchers? She frowned. It’d gone too far already, but she took comfort in knowing she had a job in Spokane, somewhere to turn to once her work at Mountainbrook was over.

  And besides, Jared would leave.

  Nothing was going to come of this.

  “If she were anyone else not working the pastures, you’d have them let go and replaced real quick,” Randall observed.

  Jared frowned, casting his eyes across the open, rolling slopes where two units of cattle roamed. Getting close to Rachel had been one uninhibited moment. Why did he allow it?

  Because he knew she was different. When it came to Rachel, he could barely think straight and if that wasn’t a sign this was something definitive, he didn’t know what was. Although he didn’t need this now before the official opening. Before returning to New York. His feelings for her were getting deeper than he expected.

  “She just needs a break after her fall. Letting her rest is a good idea.”

  Randall chuckled. “Don’t need to defend yourself, we’ve all seen it. She could be the one for you. It’s been personal soon as you hired her.”

  He couldn’t tell him how he’d prompted Rachel to work for him, but after what she’d said in the stables and her admission of forgiveness for his severity, he felt an agitation he couldn’t dwell on. “I don’t think it’ll lead to anything. Not after Tania.”

  The anguish of opening the door to the guest room in an attempt to surprise Tania with a proposal only to see her in bed with one of his ranch hands lingered. He’d been betrayed by both of them in one heavy blow. And worse, it’d gone on for weeks. It likely would’ve continued for who knows how long - during the length of their short engagement? Would he have been blind enough not to see it during their marriage?

  Randall shook his head. “Sure she could’ve been your fiancée, but she wasn’t for you. It’s time you let it be.”

  His grip on the reins tightened. “It’s not that simple.”

  Trusting another woman after such a betrayal – that was the fear he couldn’t tell Rachel.

  “Nothing is.”

  “Can you check the southern fence line? I’ve got a calf to look over. See you in a bit.”

  He cantered off before Randall could argue against it. Feeling his eyes on his back, a slash of guilt cut through him. The old man meant no harm, and he’d been an advisor to both him and his father since the beginning. Jared saw him as a friend more than a neighbor and while conversations had gotten personal between them before, he’d never felt the need to avoid it.

  As for Rachel, she was a blatant reminder of a future he once longed for, the tangible prospect of a steady relationship. Yet he’d laid out what he wanted from her and she was due to move to Spokane. A done deal.

  Or is it? I pray I’ll find the best way to handle this.

  Once the cattle were tended to, he headed back to the ranch with Randall in tow, perusing his land. My land. There he was thinking he owned it, no thanks to Rachel pointing out his earlier slipup. In the years of hard, endless work, in some ways it did feel like the place was his. But as much as he cared for it and traversed every acre with Honor, he had no intentions of settling down here.

  After entering the stables and dismounting, Randall approached him, his heavy boots kicking up hay. “Your father’s interested in hiring my stable hands. Just want to pass it by you, see what you think.”

  Jared focused on Honor’s saddle, tightening the
girth a little. While it was tempting to give his opinion, he knew the responsibility wasn’t his. “I have no qualms in letting you know my thoughts, but it’s his ranch, his decision. I have no say, don’t see how I can be much help, sorry.”

  “All right, then.”

  Culpability claimed him. “Sorry about earlier. Thinking about Rachel…”

  “Gets you riled up. I know how it goes. I’ve been with my wife for thirty years and she still gets to me like that - in the best way possible. She’s a good woman. A keeper.”

  Randall’s admission surprised him. He’d never mentioned his marriage, although the silver band on his finger exhibited it.

  “Love like that seems rare,” Jared mused. He had no examples of it within his family or his own experience. Until Rachel, he’d never given it much thought.

  Randall gave a nod. “Which makes you appreciate it once you find it.”

  A strain creased his face. For once, he was tempted to open up. “I doubt she sees long term potential in me, Randall.”

  “You’re shooting yourself in the foot. She’s stuck around, regardless of the circumstances.”

  “She had no choice.”

  “Of course she did.”

  Exasperated, he ran a hand through his hair. “These weren’t exactly ideal circumstances. The way it all played out -”

  “Is the way it needs to be.” Randall patted his shoulder. “It wasn’t easy when I met my Deborah. She was a real firecracker, and we had our disagreements. It got to the point where I was sitting at the kitchen table one morning after our usual coffee. And doubt hit me.”

  That surprised him. “You’re the happiest couple I know.”

  “Indeed, but you see, even I had my reservations. Not about our love, or our faith, but whether I was enough. To be able to provide for the family, to keep her happy.” Randall grabbed a tack from the wall and fiddled with it. “There’s a passage in the Bible that refers to limitations. All I saw were my own failings, my limited means. But when we trust that He will provide, our limited resources can become an abundance.”

  “What happened?”

  “I stopped worrying. Stopped my self-sabotage. And in doing so, I could be there for Deborah and our daughter in a way that I needed to be. The abundance I sought wasn’t the finances I desperately longed for, but within the blessings I already had. I wasn’t limited, not one bit. Only my perspective was.”

  Jared lowered his gaze and fell silent for a long moment. Going to New York and reestablishing his position as CEO was the answer to his own limitations, obviously. Whether it was enough for Rachel, he wouldn’t know.

  “Maybe your limited resources aren’t what you think,” Randall added. “And your abundance isn’t elsewhere.”

  “I’ll do what’s best.” Clearly, Randall could perceive he didn’t desire to stay on as a rancher. He always admired the man’s discernment.

  Creases lined the corners of Randall’s mouth. “Ah, and what about Rachel?”

  He tried to shrug that off. “She’ll be fine. She doesn’t plan on staying in Sandpoint.”

  “You can’t be sure of that.”

  “She is.” Watching Randall rehang the tack, he had to say, “You’ve been here as long as I have. You’ve never sought my opinion about the place before.”

  “Derek has thrown everything he has at Mountainbrook. Even after the accident, which to be fair, we all thought would make him finally retire.” Randall paused. “I understand it’s a lot of pressure to be under - having ownership of Mountainbrook.”

  “My dad did more than anyone could.” He was endlessly proud of him for that – and also disappointed that he couldn’t make him proud. Perhaps in another way. Hopefully his recent work had made up for the worst of things, yet they’d barely had time to talk lately which was something he’d rectify – and ensure his dad wouldn’t resent him for making his choice.

  “You know, he believes you’re meant to follow in his steps,” Randall said softly.

  Jared glanced at him. “I never promised I’d take over.”

  “Not saying you should. If I followed what my parents wanted for me, I wouldn’t be here. Wouldn’t have met Deborah. I’d be fishing off the New Orleans coast with a crew of twelve. Would’ve been better off financially, but emotionally? Not a chance.”

  “Then how’d you make your choice?” He folded his arms.

  “It was made for me. Saw an opening at Mountainbrook, and it all fell into place. The woman who interviewed me was Deborah. We worked here for three years, fell in love with the view, then bought an adjacent land which we made our own. Established an apple orchard and ranch.”

  Jared smiled, glad that it had worked out for Randall. Once, he used to feel slightly envious that Randall had the content family life he wanted and would’ve been desperate to gain it himself. Now that he’d handed his life over to God, he trusted it would happen. This conversation with Randall simply reinforced that.

  “So about your stable hands, we could use the help,” Jared decided. “I trust your judgment. You’ve got my approval.”

  “It wasn’t just your approval I needed.”

  Randall gave him a rare wide toothed smile before leaving the stables. The silence was broken by Honor’s whinnying and Jared patted her flank comfortingly. The ranch was in his father’s hands. He knew the staff was reluctant for him to leave, but Jared couldn’t lament his decision now, even for Rachel.

  And his feelings for Rachel were another matter, yet Randall’s words were comforting. Perhaps he’d looked at love the wrong way, as something agonizing, meaningless, since people could cut you free from their lives in seconds with heartless efficiency. He’d endured dismissal all these years from those he dared bare his heart to and he wanted to defy the weight of his past, the dejection of those he loved, but how could he ignore it when it’s all his life had become?

  Nothing but disillusionment aside from his work.

  He didn’t know if he had the strength to overcome it, and that painful acknowledgment reached deep inside him. It was safer to hide away, live out a routine whether it was to be in Mountainbrook or New York.

  After tidying up and sweeping the stables clear, he headed inside. Most of the men had left with only Owen choosing to stay the night; the rancher retreated to his room shortly after greeting Jared.

  Catching sight of Rachel alone on the couch, Jared’s heart rate picked up, his pulse thundering in his ears as soon as she locked her gorgeous sapphire blue eyes on him.

  She’d been waiting for him. That warmed him more than he expected.

  “You aren’t leaving?” he asked. Because he knew in that moment he wanted her to stay.

  “I need some photos tonight. I bet the ranch looks mesmerizing beneath the stars.”

  “It does.” He held her gaze, enraptured. “Right, I’ll show you your accommodations.”

  He guided her to the small bedroom that had been partially redesigned. Glossy hardwood floors were swathed with a fluffy white rug, the large king bed fashioned with logs of pine and draped in red sheets. The cream walls blended with the polished floors and high roof, a hint of the modern rustic theme to be reiterated with renovations. The windows opened out to a view of alpine trees and a private deck with a large hot tub.

  “I love it!” she remarked, her blonde hair a curtain of gold against her shoulders. “I’m surprised the others don’t stay here often.”

  And it occurred to him that he wanted her opinion. He wanted to be around her, even if it was to talk about something mundane and for some reason, that didn’t disinterest him.

  He cleared his throat. “Dinner’s at six. You might want to put layers on, it gets cool quickly with the air coming straight off the mountains out here.”

  “I’ll be there. Thanks!”

  “You’re welcome. Glad to have you here.”

  Dinner was a lively meal of roast turkey and gravy with most of the conversation discussing Randall’s offer of stable hands, which Jared’s fat
her had accepted. He was grateful his dad was making decisions for the future of the ranch, a sign he’d deserted his request for Jared to take the reins. The niggling feeling of remorse emerged, but he ignored it since he had no need to feel guilty for leaving behind a commitment he didn’t aspire to.

  So why do I?

  He spoke up. “Pleased you’re taking them on.”

  Derek nodded slowly. “Yeah, well, management will be much easier from now on. With finances taken care of, we can expedite the renovations to be done within the next two weeks, allowing us to open during peak season before Thanksgiving.”

  “Sounds like all the work will be difficult during snowfall,” Rachel noted.

  “It will be, I’m impatient. Mother Nature’s fickle these days but I know Mountainbrook will be better for it, and I want this changeover completed as soon as possible. Jared’s contributions have been more than enough.”

  His father gave him a smile. Thinking of what Rachel had said, he wondered if his dad loved him in spite of his flippant actions over the past few years, but at least he was pleased about his assistance. Now he could be assured his dad was content with the outcome. There was nothing to worry about.

  Jared shoveled more rosemary and garlic buttered potatoes into his mouth.

  “It’s been fantastic having you with us,” Owen said to Rachel. “Certainly livens up dinner conversations.”

  Jared nodded in agreement.

  “That’s sweet,” Rachel enthused. “I can say without a doubt, I’ll miss all of you.”

  She looked over them and stopped at Jared. He had to glance away, conflicted over their future. His own feelings. What could he offer, other than a long distance relationship? That wouldn’t work – it would be akin to emotional torture to be apart in such a way.

  Once he finished his meal, he left and helped his dad clear the table. A schedule they’d both been locked in but tonight, with Rachel here, it felt maudlin.

  “I’m so happy to be here,” she said, which he couldn’t help overhear. “And I can’t wait to capture some shots of the ranch tonight.”